Ugly People

They strike fear into the hearts of millions... as well as nausea.  We refer to them as the walking dead, but only behind their backs.  They are a terror that threatens to overtake our world as we know it.  I speak of the ugly people that roam the planet in search of ordinary lives... which they will never achieve because they fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down... and because, apparently, they don't have the heart to try plastic surgery and spare us the terror that exists in our hearts every time we look at them.

Why do ugly people insist on being ugly? Yes, I understand that some people are born inadequate but, in our society, with all of the plastic surgery and liposuction and botox, is there absolutely nothing they can do to improve themselves?  How can they wake up each day and feel good about themselves knowing that they are hideous decoration on the face of our beautiful planet?  Furthermore, how can they wake up each day and feel good about themselves after looking in the mirror?

While they stroll around in their ugly bodies with their ugly friends, they smile snaggletoothed grins and flap their bat wings, pushing their oily hair behind their wax-infested ears... And we look on in horror, scrambling to get to the other side of the street for fear that the "ugly" we feel radiating off of them might be contagious.  And what really gets to me is the fact that these hideous monstrosities travel in packs.  Isn't one of them enough to disgust an entire county?  Have some compassion... Must you insist on traveling as ugly nomads, making babies cry and dogs whimper in fear?  Please, have a heart and fix your face, before a second Hitler comes to power and eradicates you...